there’s a lot i want to say
but if i do
then i’d probably be excommunicated from the religion
(not that what i’d say is wrong, it’s just that it’d be “shocking”
and revolutionary, and the way i’d say it would upset
the racist cultural pigheads running the mosques)
and i’d be looked down upon, a social pariah
because if this site gets into the wrong hands
it can be used as ammunition against me

pow pow pow pow pow pow pow pow KApow

it’s the man
with the master plan
gonna gather the clan
and move back to the homeland
some day
some day
some day
not today

friend: so is there anything i can do before i leave?
me: yup, send over three pizzas, thanks
friend: lol, you’re kidding right?
me: lol, yeah
friend: remind me to buy you a slice tmw at lunch
me: naw, i won’t be around, i’ll probably be chugging along on some ethereal plane of non-existence… thanks for the offer, though
friend: right….

(the average conversation of mine with a friend)

i’m really much angrier than i ever seem
EVER
seem

but i’m not going to let go of it
on anyone
nope
sometimes i burst
but
whatever
just keep it all inside
yaay
life rocks
sucks
sh!ts
whatever

i have chem
i have french
i don’t want to do it
i have to do it

funny, so many things i WANT to do
i won’t — because God won’t let me
so many things i DON’T want to do
i will — because God will have me
doing those things
and not doing those things
i love God
i hate myself
or is it vice-versa?
does a slave ever love his master?
i love my master
i’m a slave
i disobey my master from time to time
but He forgives me
He loves me, yes
He doesn’t always show it, no
but like parents don’t
but they do
i know mine do, at least
it’s all weird that way
you know something’s true
but it doesn’t seem to be
and you know it’s false
but it doesn’t seem to be
el-Koran says
somethings seem good but aren’t
others seem bad but aren’t
el-Koran is very true
it’s the Truth
yup
it is
it’s so HARD to follow the Truth
but we do it
some don’t
but we do it
we slip sometimes
but we do it
yaay

yaay

i have work to do
i don’t want to
it’s late
i have school in the morning
i have work to do

don’t feel like typing much
wow, it’s monday now
how fastly time flows all over the place and not staying in one place
the future and past and present are all merged and are all distinct
to the point where the future cannot be distinguished from the present but the present can be distinguished from the future
and the same applies for all other tenses of time
past, present, future
tense
english is a crappy language
whatever
it’s the only one i really know
et francais
but i hate french
whatever
i’m ranting
that’s the purpose
more like babbling
okay
whatever
yaay
waaaa
awww
sad
happy
not
very
angry
whatever
“what goes around comes around, my n*gga”
nas is on
i just need to let go
i don’t feel like typing
yet i keep this going
i’m talking to yaser, right now
on icq
icq is a marvel
it’s property of aol-time-warner
most people don’t know that
now it’s mos def
the muslim rapper
rapping about ms. fat booty
but then again
who is me to judge
who is me
who is me
just babbling
it’s all good
it’s all bad
it’s all the same
it’s the same
game
going on all the time
no difference
man never changes
woman never changes
the same sh!t
never changes
humans don’t change
stuff around us does
but we don’t
same sh!t
1400 yrs ago man came to preach and teach
2000 yrs ago man came to preach and teach
thousands of yrs ago men came to preach and teach
we still need those lessons
because we never can set our pathetic selves straight
we’re pathetic
i’m pathetic
whatever
i’m babbling
stop judging
judge not lest ye be judges says the Bible
did i tell anyone i’m a Jesus freak?
and that i love jews?
yeah, lots of raised eyebrows in response
think i’m a christian or a jew-sympathizer
(“you love the people who’re killing our brothers and sisters?”)
grow up, people
there’s more to this world than black and white terms
it’s more more more more more more
so endlessly more
but i’m babbling
ranting
talking without and end
not talking
typing
i don’t even know if anyone will bother to read this all
but i type
i need to vent
out
vent out
like a volcano
keeping all this sh!t inside
eventually comes to the boil
and it bursts
out
boom
i’m not revealing all
of course
boom
i’m not really revealing anything
of course
boom
just venting
boom
“then i got the word of God in islam”
divine styler is playing
can’t find his lyrics anywhere on the web
and i’ve looked
trust me i have looked
no finding
whatever
it’s all the same sh!t
i don’t want anymore responsibility
to be in the eyes of others
have my actions scrutinized
i want to do what i want to do
between me and my God
no one else
and i want to do what i want to do
no one telling me what to do
what to believe
what to say
what to do
what to do
what to do
what to be
who to be
how to be
why to be
just me
and my God
too much to ask?
yes
in this world
it’s all the same sh!t
the same game
going on
all the time
whatever
life sucks
it rocks
it sucks
it’s all the same sh!t
the same game going on all the time
it rocks
it sucks
whatever
love is an emotion
but an odd one
whatever
what is love
i don’t know
no one does
God knows
He won’t tell us
not clearly
He’ll want us to experience it
experience gaining it
experience losing it
experience blowing yourself up
boom
into bits and bits
and bits
boom
like a volcano
just erupt
boom
pow
whack
wam
like soundeffects from an old batman episode
only real
but inside
from the inside
boom
pow
whack
wam
pow
whack
wam
it’s the same sh!t
the same game going on all the time

i’m confused
whatever
🙂
🙁
😐

i’m confused
🙁
🙂
😐

🙂

i see trees of green, red roses too
i see them bloom for me and you
and i think to myself what a wonderful world.

– george david weiss and bob thiele
(sang by louis armstrong)

… still waiting …

this goes out to the 237 people who i madly and hopelessly love…
🙂

see the pyramids around the nile
watch the sunrise from a tropic isle,
just remember, darlin’, all the while,
you belong to me.

– jason wade

all these morons emailing me through the malcolm x web site telling me that i need to put more stuff on it
SHUT THE HELL UP
and go to a library if you have to do a project
i’m not doing your homework for you — you can’t even spell properly
you stupid regurgitated pieces of donkey crap
probably have less sophistication than a pack of babbling babboons

… just waiting …