i have exams next week
eight exams
most people don’t
i have a big courseload
most people don’t
i’m barely studying
most people are
i don’t know how i ever end up passing these things
with the marks i do get
i don’t think i deserve them
i know people who DO deserve them
but don’t get them…
there’s this thing in our school, “principal’s scholars” — the top 15 or so students in each grade
since i got into highschool
i ended up on the list every term
and i always “joke” that they “put me on by mistake, again”
but i’m serious
i think there’s people out there who deserve it much more than i do
for goodness sake, i ask THEM for help when i’m stuck
they DO deserve it
but they don’t get it
life is suck, in that way
people who deserve stuff don’t get it
people who don’t end up getting it
then there’s people who try to reassure me that i do deserve it
but i disagree, quite frankly, for reasons already expressed
life is suck