I was coming home today from UofT, and some time after 10 pm I reached the Scarborough Centre Station bus terminal, to be met by a massive police presence there, with several police officers, some speaking with a few people.

There were several police cars, at least five — some parked where the taxis usually stand. There was a dog squad van (and you could hear the dogs barking inside the van) parked at the McCowan 129 bus stop as well.

On the opposite side of the terminal (south-bound buses), a couple of police officers (white) had a young male (black) in custody, handcuffed. It seemed like they were patting him down. I was considering standing around to make sure he wasn’t mistreated (not sure why I thought he would be mistreated in the first place). But then the 129 bus got there, and of course catching the bus is more important than documenting potential police mistreatment, or anything else for that matter. As we exited the bus terminal two police cars were exiting ahead of us.

I was intimidated more by the large police presence than any perceived threat. I’m not sure what occurred there though I’m sure it’ll come up on the news (or maybe not). Seemed like some kind of (drugs/gun?) bust. No ambulances, no fire trucks — so it wasn’t a regular 911 call where someone was injured (or perhaps they had long since left), and the dog squad usually doesn’t show up for those kinds of problems either.

It’s kind of odd when you’re stuck in that place where your spirit is thoroughly broken but your mind refuses to stop thinking about things. Where you’re entirely disillusioned but refuse to acquiesce. I guess one could call it a no man’s land.

I find myself going through this kind of thinking quite often — nearly a year ago I made this post.

A commenter named patlajica left this message:

because you have no other choice! people like you, who refuse to be swallowed by ignorance, have no other choice but to think and fight. you are cursed with a brain that will not shut down, a mind that will not stop asking questions and eyes that will not look away when wrong-doings or abuse happen. your very existence is tormenting but there is nothing more beautiful than your cause.

She summed it up quite well, and in fact that reflects my first paragraph.

I’ve done a lot of thinking this winter, perhaps one of the worst I’ve had (and conversely perhaps also one of the best I’ve had). I’ve seriously considered resigning from ASSU to take a break from it, even as I’ve seriously considered running for a seat on Governing Council — all the while I’ve also come up with some thoughts and ideas to do something about both.

In one capacity or another I’ve been involved in just about every level of student government on campus, from course unions (HBSU and APSS) to a faculty student union (ASSU) to the university student union (SAC). The one that I haven’t stuck my nose in is the Governing Council.

One issue that really bothers me is the fact that there is no public accountability of the University of Toronto (or indeed, at an Ontario university). The results of its internal audit are never made public, the Audit Committee of the Governing Council has no student members (for what reason, I do not know) — it reports back to the Business Board (which has two student members, and the reports are publicly viewable) but many of its items are confidental and undisclosed. The web site for the internal audit serves as a “resource” for members of the “University community” — of course student societies don’t get audited by this ‘Internal Audit’ (so are we members of this “University community”?) and we aren’t given the most important resource of all: the results of the audit.

The very structure of the Governing Council also bothers me. 8 students out of 50 members. That’s one less than the number of alumni (eight plus the Chancellor), four less than the teaching staff (12), eight less than the provincial appointees (16). At the very least, I feel there should be more students on the Governing Council — substantially more — than there are alumni. Sure, they contribute to the “University community,” but really, we’re the ones who go through the crap here on the ground. To change this, one would have to go to the provincial government, because apparently the Governing Council is rooted in Ontario law (hence the 16 provincial appointees).

And that just brings it round full circle. The University of Toronto is established in the law, by the province, and yet it has no public accountability.

Many of the committees on the Governing Council co-opt unelected students. This is a route to get “in” — so to speak — but not being elected isn’t my thing. I used two negatives. I would rather be elected than be co-opted or appointed. (During ASSU’s March 2005 elections, I was acclaimed an Executive Member rather than being elected because not enough people ran for anything. Had I not stood against Yaser for the presidency, he too would have been acclaimed. At that point I didn’t want to become President, but I wasn’t happy at all about the lack of choice and the automatic acclamations.)

I’ve also noticed that no full-time undergraduate student representative on the Governing Council has reached out to faculty student unions — at least not to ASSU. If they had I probably would’ve known about it by now. Of course, I and ASSU have certainly not reached out to them either, despite their contacts being public information. Neither of us initiated anything.

I’ve been thinking a lot more about a lot more (more on that, hopefully, later). And although sometimes I feel like walking away, I think Shawn summarized it best when, in March responding to my post, he said “keep fighting b/c you probably won’t give up either way..”.

Sometimes, though, it just gets awful lonely when yours is the only voice you hear, regardless of how much you like listening to the sound of your own voice. Perhaps you’re not listening, or you’re not listening in the right places. But that just makes you feel even lonelier.

Sometimes I believe that they hire university bureaucrats at a moron convention. This is slightly different from the idiot convention from where they get politicians. However, it shouldn’t be a surprise that many university bureaucrats and politicians are practically interchangeable (consider that many folks wanted to appoint Bob Rae as the President of UofT).

Recently, I received an e-mail from a UofT Arts & Science student about a problem he was facing with the bureaucracy. He was running late for an exam because of the TTC, and having arrived he placed his pencil case on his desk and began to write his essay exam. The pencil case contained a calculator. One of the invigilators, who had gone around his desk several times finally spotted it and accused him of possessing an unauthorized aid. The calculator was confiscated.

The student had brought the calculator to school in the first place to study for an exam he had the next day which would require the use of a calculator. Now that it was confiscated, it would be difficult for him to study or to write the exam.

The university bureaucracy, when he talked to them about it, told him that he had brought in an unauthorized aid to his essay exam, and that he could reclaim it by a) admitting that he’d brought an unauthorized aid, b) admitting he took it back, c) agreeing to have it appear on his transcript for six months/meeting with the Dean’s designate for disciplinary measures.

What’s absurd is that there is no way possible that the calculator could be used as an aid of any kind on an essay exam, and even the presiding instructor who created the exam said this. To me, it’s no different than taking your digital watch off and putting it on the table — something many of us have done on several occasions.

Nevertheless, the bureaucrats are sticking behind this. This student, and I give him credit for this, refused to admit that he had brought an unauthorized aid, and is going to meet with the Dean’s designate to discuss this issue. I wish him all the best.

It frustrates me tremendously that this kind of unnecessary action is being undertaken. Apparently, these bureaucrats have nothing better to do with their time, and so are taking upon these kinds of trivial issues — that can have an immense impact on the transcript of a student (particularly if he or she wants to use it to apply for research or other positions). If deterrence is truly their intent then this is not the way to do it. It’s stupid and inane.

Right now I feel kind of inept.

Emotionally, intellectually, my spirit: inept.

I met an acquaintance today (well, yesterday), after two years — he was in my Lord of the Rings course — and he told me about how he’d transferred to York. University of Toronto is shit, he told me, compared to York. The professors actually care about you, the courses are designed to help you learn, not to make you burn. The level of difficulty isn’t necessarily easier, he said, it’s the way York treats you — indeed, it treats you as a human being, a person. If the purpose of a university education is learning, then the University of Toronto has broken it, just like it has broken the spirits of several students who have come here. He went on about it for a while.

I really have no reference point when it comes to the University of Toronto and comparing it to other institutions. Well, not until I met this guy. Sure, the evidence is anecdotal, but hot damn — what the fuck.

I looked back at my two years on ASSU and I tried to pull out tangible things that I or we have brought through to make things better for the students. Academically. I found none. Nothing new, nothing improved. ASSU, in the last two years — to my recollection — has accomplished squat. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe I’m missing something. Yes, of course, there was the time I got the Dean to apologize to BIO250 students. Then the other times I’ve gotten into tiffs with instructors/lecturers/professors for all kinds of reasons. But other than that? I really don’t know. Perhaps being able to maintain the status quo is something. I think? I don’t know. We tell ourselves to take solace in our little victories, and that’s nice, but have we really moved ourselves to accomplish something big? I’m sitting here and I’m thinking that ASSU can be so much more, but I feel like I’m devoid of ideas.

If I’m devoid of ideas, I’m devoid of action. Where do the ideas come from? Everyone. But for that, you need communication and I don’t see that. There needs to be a regularized channel of communication. Apparently, that’s what course unions in ASSU are for. To keep the Executive’s ear to the ground, so that we can all pool our resources and effect some change. But that doesn’t happen. I don’t see it happening. I see that it might happen, but we really need something for that.

I don’t think it takes just one leader. Maybe it does. Maybe it takes a confluence of several leaders, in several positions. I don’t know. We ought to think about these things. How do we make our lives better — the lives of students better? We don’t think. It seems to me that we keep putting things off for an ever-later date. We don’t think. We’re devoid of ideas.

(I’m sorry if these musings seem esoteric or are inaccurate, feel free to ask for clarification or reprimand for correction.)

Recently, there has been a rash of thefts in the lockers that ASSU rents out to students in the basement of Sidney Smith. Things such as laptops and textbooks (incidentally, the one I’ve had tiffs over) have been stolen. Although ASSU has repeatedly asked Campus Police to conduct some sort of investigation, they’ve said that they don’t have the time or resources to do so — because the value of the stolen goods is not large enough, apparently. I don’t think you can base shit on the value of the stolen goods, it has to be based on the relative value. For students, a textbook is a big deal, a laptop is a fortune. If a senior administrator at the University had her car stolen, the Campus Police, I suspect, would be on that buggy like a hungry dog on a scrap of meat. What does it take?

The web site for the Undecided Party of Canada has some thoughtful ideas. It may seem to be a joke site, but don’t be fooled, it addresses some very serious issues and posits some absolutely interesting ideas.

On its about page:

If Conservatives could call themselves Progressive,
If the current federal Liberals can call themselves…Liberal,
If an organization that takes contributions from union dues without requiring the consent of those paying the dues can call itself the New Democratic Party,
And if the Reform Party can go without making any significant reforms, change its name to the Alliance Party without creating any significant alliances, and then drop the Alliance name after negotiating the only important alliance in its short history,

…any misconceptions about the meanings behind the UDP’s name can simply be considered part of the fine tradition of misdirection and manufactured disorientation that defines the political process.

This site is making me reconsider my support for the NDP. I’m half thinking of writing “undecided” on my ballot and spoiling it. I encourage people to become politically active, but when I reflect upon the state of things I feel incredibly discouraged. Most people are dimwits, it seems, in politics. It’s like they have an idiot convention where they pick who’s going to become a politician — liars, assholes, braggarts and all-around fuckheads are in high demand.

I’ll probably end up voting NDP. I’ll probably end up campaigning for the NDP as well. It’s important, I guess. If you can’t really effect change by kicking the shitheads out or being wittily ironical by spoling your ballot, you can at least moderate them by electing less fucked-up people to do something more positive.

This has to be one of the most incoherent and rambling posts I’ve written in a long time. I’ve barely covered half of what’s on my mind. Maybe less. I have an essay due on Wednesday. I have to work on that.

Iran’s hardline president, who has called for Israel’s destruction, said today that the Jewish state should be moved to Europe if the West wants to make up for the Holocaust.

I’ve always loved how pragmatic Eastern leaders can be.

“Some European countries insist on saying that during World War II, Hitler burned millions of Jews and put them in concentration camps,” Ahmadinejad said. “Any historian, commentator or scientist who doubts that is taken to prison or gets condemned.”

Talking about reform and democracy in Iran, though, is an entirely different matter.

“Only recently the UN General Assembly condemned Holocaust denial and here the Iranian leader is showing himself to be fundamentally contradicting the norms of international behaviour and decency,” the Israeli Foreign Ministry spokesman said.

He quickly added that Israel is exempt from international behaviour and decency because, well, it’s Israel.

“They certainly don’t inspire hope among any of us in the international community that the government of Iran is prepared to engage as a responsible member of that community,” [U.S.] State Department spokesman Adam Ereli said.

He added that Ahmadinejad’s comments appear “to be a consistent pattern of rhetoric that is both hostile and out of touch with values that the rest of us in the international community live by.”

Ahmedinijad, he stressed, not George W. Bush.

“An extremist with a microphone can be dangerous enough; an extremist with nuclear weapons poses a danger to the entire world,” [Rabbi David] Saperstein said in a statement.

He later clarified that he was not talking about Ariel Sharon or George W. Bush.

– Move Israel to Europe, Iran’s president urges

This morning in ANA300 (anatomy) lecture, the instructor, Dr. Stewart, was lecturing on motor neurons. These, essentially, are the nerves that allow us to conduct movement (that is, manipulation of muscles). She was discussing how lesions (damage) to lower motor neurons, that causes disuse of muscles can lead to substantial muscular atrophy. An example of this is the polio disease.

Then, she said something to the effect of “Now, polio has been eradicated in civilized countries.” And she continued speaking about other parts of the world.

My friend looked over at me and, offended, said “‘Civilized’?” I too was offended and raised my shoulders and hands in a “what the hell,” kind of way.

Then I raised my hand and Dr. Stewart called on me. I said, “I’m sorry, I have to object to your use of the word ‘civilized.'”

“Okay… Well, what would you have me use instead?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” I responded. “Developed.”

“Okay, so polio still exists in underdeveloped countries — is that better?”

“Much better, thank you.”

What I wanted to say was something along the lines of, “Hold up, Africa and Asia had great civilizations while Europeans were still learning to crawl out of their caves — what do you mean by ‘civilized’?”

Yesterday morning I got on the Spadina streetcar through the backdoors as I usually. It was quite packed, and I would typically wait for another streetcar but I was in a hurry. I also usually take my backpack off but I was holding a bag full of books so I simply didn’t have the opportunity to do that.

From the front of the car, this black lady came hurtling through, “Excuse me! Excuse me!” She was physically pushing people out of her way. She came and stood near the doors, beside me.

Then she started muttering something about how they stole $10,000 from her young children, her social services, and “This is what you’ve become Canada!” Then she said she felt like she was going to throw up, and pushed me out of the way and proceeded toward the back asking (demanding, more like it) for someone to give up a window seat.

A person (in the aisle) complied and got up for her, and the person sitting beside also got up. So she got her window seat (and I think she said thank you but I don’t remember) and opened the window.

She continued muttering things, but I had to get off at Willcocks and so did not get the entire gist of her argument.

I think she might have undergone some kind of trauma (losing a lot of money, perhaps; losing her children?) or something.

But yeah. Another TTC story.

A minority government balanced by the NDP!

Monday night, I went to see a preview showing of Syriana with a couple of friends.The Cinema Studies Students’ Union (CINSSU) was screening the sneak preview, for free, as it often does. The film kicked ass.

It’s a complex film with several characters; shot with two hand-held cameras, it’s so rich in detail it almost seems like a documentary (and it might as well be). It is an important film about America’s dealings in the Persian Gulf revolving around oil. It follows four main characters (they’re all men): a CIA agent shuttled between the Middle East and America (George Clooney), and energy analyst (Matt Damon) advising the would-be emir of an oil-rich nation, an attorney investigating the shady merger of two oil companies, and a Pakistani migrant-worker in an oil-rich nation who joins a madrassa. The jargon may be hard to follow for some, and many of the business dealings can leave people confused; but the message of the film comes through — without making any of the characters appear one-dimensional.

Again, it’s an important film, because people need to know how it is that they manage to get cheap oil and at least some of the reasons why leaders of oil-rich countries are almost invariably lackeys of American agendae.

Many people, after the film finished, expressed that they didn’t understand it. And I suppose that might have something to do with the complexity of the content or of the way the film was structured. In any case, I hope they use it as a starting point to learn more about the United States’ operations in other countries.

On Tuesday, after noon, as I was headed downtown on the subway and reading Thucydides, a man started asking loudly for change. You could tell he was kind of homeless; carrying a few things with him, wearing two dirty coats, dirty pants, dirty hair, dirty skin, and with an intoxicated manner. As no one responded to his appeal for change, he began to loudly castigate the general subway ridership for their self-alienation and isolation — refusing to interact with fellow human beings and living in their own worlds. I actually agreed with him on that point.

Finally, a lady got up, thrust some change into his hands and sat back down. He left his seat and went over to her to thank her, and managed to find a seat right beside her and sat down. Soon, she — disgusted — got up and walked to the other end of the car. He laughed and continued his banter.

As we approached Broadview station, he quipped that he came to Broadview to view broads. Blondes, brunettes, redheads, tall ones, short ones, “pencil necks,” and so on (to the general repulsion of those who had nothing better to do than to listen to him).

He related a short story about how he picked up some girl and in bed she started talking about a “ban-job” — short for a banana job.

Soon he went into a narrative about a whore he picked up from Dundas and Jarvis. He talked to her, knowing she had been in this business for some time, and asked her name. She said it was Cynthia. So he asked her who gave her that name, her father or her mother? She replied neither. Well then, he asked, who gave her that name? At which point she rolled over on the bed and bent over and vomited on the floor. She then said Satan, Satan (and he had a peculiar way of pronouncing Satan, “say-dun”) had given her her name. He laughed and asked her if she was a ritualistic type, a ritual girl. She said yes. So he asked her how many candles she lit in her room. And she said sixty-nine, sixty-nine candles and that “ain’t no sexual reference, neither.” Sixty-nine. Cynthia. End of story. Thank you for listening.

The train approached Sherbourne station and he got up, stating that he didn’t understand why people were unkind to him — he wasn’t a gangster, he was a “good fella.” The door opened, and he said:

Crimson mountain, golden sun,
Purple tree for everyone.

Good-bye!

As he bid his farewell, the door chimed and just as it closed he exited. It was like he had it perfectly timed.

I turned to the girl next to me and asked, “Did he say purple tree?”
She replied, “I have no idea.”

In a strange full circle type of thing I recently found out that pundit-blog Little Green Footballs found my old “This Is Islam” presentation and presented it to his readers. (Mustaqiim Sahir’s chest-slapping acapella isn’t accepted by many of the Salafis I know as legitimate. Boo hoo, LGF. Idiot.)

I’ve tried to distance myself and malcolm-x.org as far away from that presentation as possible. In a way I regret having made that Flash piece of crap. It’s chunky, has a crappy soundtrack, and many of my ideas about Islam have changed profoundly. Nevertheless it was made by a sincere 15/16-year old trying to present a different side of Islam than what’s usually found to Muslims and non-Muslims alike.

It gave me (or, at least, my name) an instant fifteen minutes of fame around the Muslim world as Muslims in remote places waited all night for their crappy Internet connections to load the whole thing and then forwarded it to their friends. Muslims around the world — the ones who probably looked upon the burning towers of 9/11 with a sense of poetic justice but later cried for the innocents — appreciated it.

What’s ludicrous is much of the putrid ignorance posted in the comments by the readers of LGF. There’s an automatic assumption that I’m an anti-Semite (why, because I implied that Ariel Sharon is a liar?), completely ignoring the fact (pointed out by a later commenter) that I picked out the bombings of pizzerias in Israel as terrorism, pointed to the bombing of planes by Palestinian militants as terrorism, that I picked a picture of an Arab man and Jewish man living together, etc.

The vicious ignorance of the commenters toward Muslims, painting them and the entire religion with the same brush, is as vitriolic as the ignorance of several Muslims toward Jews.

At this point, I’m not comfortable enough with Islam to make a presentation like that again. If I did, it would be quite nuanced and ambivalent about many of the things in Islam. I don’t think Islam should be simplified to slogans such as “Islam is peace” nor should Islam’s claims to promotion of peace be discounted immediately.