I’m watching an infomercial on an Indian satellite channel for “English GURU” — some kind of program that teaches you English. The ad is kind of surreal. The ‘master-ji’ (with flat cap, spectacles, Marx-like beard and tweed suit) says that English is not just a desirable language, but a desirable lifestyle. It dictates (positively, I reckon) how you walk, talk, sit, get up, eat, etc. In fact, he stresses that one should think in English. The narrator then says that, in an age of globalization, multinationals, call-centres, etc. are hiring solely on the basis of whether or not one speaks English. Master-ji keeps reappearing, and later he speaks in thick Hindi (which I can’t understand) expounding on the virtues of learning English.