message sent to physics department:
Dear Professor Keys (sic.),
I only now realized an incredible conflict of interest pertaining to the date of the Physics Test.
Unfortunately, the TTC’s 50th anniversary celebrations of Canada’s first Subway line also fall on March 30th.
For those of us who believe fervently — even fanatically — in Public Transit and the TTC, this is virtually a religious conflict.
On March 30th, us believers will firstly gather at the SAC office to purchase our April Metropasses.
We will then indugle in a night-time remembrance of the sacred Red Cars that, though produced in Great Britian, still reflected Canada’s … redness (in a non-communist way), through poetry and physics recitals and, of course, singing the famed TTC Subway Song.
We will then hike — above ground — from Union Station to Eglinton Station to remember the trials and tribulations that faced the people of Toronto before we were graced with the Subway.
We will then take the Subway from Eglinton to Yonge Station, and go west to St. George Station to initiate the final rite: Starting from Bloor and St. George we will take the Subway to Kipling, then go to Kennedy. From there we will back track to St. George, and go north to Downsview. Then, we will go south, do the loop (well, a U-turn, or whatever you want to call it) and go north to Finch. Then south to Sheppard, go east to Don Mills, come back to the Yonge line and come south to the Bloor line and back to St. George.
I realize that this is very short notice, but on behalf of all us Public Transit believers, I request that the test be postponed, rescheduled for another date. (Yes, we know one test is droppable, but we hope to drop one of our earlier tests due to our dismal performances there.)
(Or you could at least announce to the Physics class that March 30th also marks the 50th anniversay of the Subway, and the TTC’s official celebrations are being held at 10:30 am at Union Station.)
Thank you for your time and consideration.
reply from physics department:
I have read with much interest your urgent request and regret to inform you that it cannot be granted. According to the Interfaith Calendar (http://www.interfaithcalendar.org/), worship of public transit, whether of the TTC variety or of any other, is not a faith recognised by the University of Toronto. Furthermore, neither Professor Key nor I are keen to encourage fanaticism in any form whatsoever.
Let me assure you, however, that we are fervent supporters of public transit as an alternative to more private and wasteful means of transportation, such as the so-called sports utility vehicle.
May I suggest that the calm and studious ambiance of a test, so conducive to one’s contemplation of past sins and of the frailties of human nature, would make an ideal prelude to the boisterous revelry being planned for that evening.
PHY138Y Course Coordinator