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so there i was, some forty thousand feet above the ground, looking out the half inch of glass (followed by an inch or so of nothing) followed by a quarter inch of plastic that separated me from the beautiful oblivion<\/p>\nso there i was, some forty thousand feet above the ground, looking out the half inch of glass (followed by an inch or so of nothing) followed by a quarter inch of plastic that separated me from the beautiful oblivion<\/p>\n
i noticed the frost that had formed on the edges of the plastic portion of the window (the plastic being what you can touch, the glass is actually on the outside of the aeroplane)<\/p>\n
the little map program on the little television screen in front of me said that the temperature outside was -63 degrees celsius — almost as bad as toronto on a good winter day<\/p>\n
then i thought to myself, when superman (in the movie, of course) took lois lane for a joyride through the sky, didn’t she freeze her ass off?<\/p>\n
there they were, whooshing through the clouds god knows how high up with the spectacular john williams music playing in the background, and she was dressed just in this nightgown (why was she going to interview superman dressed in just a nightgo– oh… nevermind) and she didn’t just freeze to death?<\/p>\n
i can understand superman not freezing to death, because he’s superman — but lois lane is not superman, she should’ve frozen to death<\/p>\n
it’s not like lois lane was particularly hot or anything … hahaha, get it? hot? ha… okay…<\/p>\n
speaking of superheroes, you know one thing they never do is become junkies
\nwhen was the last time a well known superhero was on drugs? you don’t see spider-man crashing under the pressure and doing crack with a white streak between the massive eyes, you don’t see batman and robin sitting back passing a dutchie on the left hand side, drugs don’t even have an effect on superman (who, as we discussed earlier, is nevertheless a crackhead for taking a normal human woman thousands of feet into the sky where she would, in the real world anyway, freeze to death within minutes)<\/p>\n
there was that one time the green arrow’s sidekick, what was his name? speedo? he was on crack
\nbut with a name like that i don’t blame him<\/p>\n
besides, why didn’t the green lantern do anything about it, with his green lantern ring<\/p>\n