The language on the pages related to Malcolm X seem much better than this page. For example the malcolm-x.org/index.html has simple clear and short sentences, and your message comes out clearly. It is smooth reading, and it looks as if you manage to cover all that you wanted to say. Reading that I form a picture of an intelligent young man(you, that is).

This page reads like the normal inanity about globalization. Just compare the sentences lengths. The impression is that you have just heard some ‘heavy phrases’ and somehow want to use them in your writing and that there is no clear idea of what you want to say. For example, compare the first and third line: if the decline of Soviet union prompts the author to offer this thesis, it cannot be used as evidence in support of it(evidence would be something new). Then usage such as “Asserting both the necessity and possibility of another world so visibly” make me sick. The protests were visible all right, but how was another-world’s necessity proved, and how was it shown possible? (both will require a lot more work than just having a lot of people to protest–that shows interest, or, at best, a wish)

Whenever you had written the index.html page, would you have written something like “This piece is written for class”? What is a ‘piece’, what does ‘writing for class’ mean? Why coin useless words like “non-academese”, can’t you say ‘simple language’ or non-technical language? (for that matter, the phrase is superfluous)

I would never have written anything on this page if I wasn’t coming from the index.html page, which is excellent. Please consider my point. If you want more examples or an explanation please ask.

The specter of ‘Communism’ is no longer haunting Europe as it haunted one and a half centuries ago. So when one speak of another world one should able to analyze the contradictions gripping the nucleus as well.